Thoughts of YM with C 031606

How can we say that one person is wrong for us or not? It seems to be natural to look forward to having someone who will be perfect for us. Perfect? It's been ages since we knew that nobody is perfect. yet we still expect that there is a perfect person. sa dami ng nakapag-share sa akin about that thing we call "love" aside from the fact that i did experience being in that "in love" state i can probably share with you what and how i see that thing called love. so here goes:

1. There was this girl who fell in love with a guy four years younger than her. The girl has very good family background and is well-respected by their community. The guy was in his senior year in college when she already sports a fruitful career. The guy's ex-girlfriend was a common friend of the girl. So much to say that the guy will never fit in to the girl's would-be boyfriend category. The girl tried to ignore him and yet she unconsciously kept helping and being around him and silently became his "superwoman" 'coz her heart subconsciously really wanted to reach out to him. He was reaching out and needed her. Yet, she was in denial. She had these thoughts: "How can this guy be accepted by my family? by my friends? He doesn't have anything that I can be proud of. He doesn't even come up to my ideals." Eventually, she decided to accept him but did not introduce him as her boyfriend. She never admitted nor denied that they had a relationship. After finishing college the guy had a series of forgettable jobs and did not have any stable job. After sometime, he and his family relocated to Manila. Her insecurities was hard enough for the girl to handle. The long distance relationship proved even harder for the girl to keep the relationship going. Shewas always in doubt. There came a time that the guy gave a hint he wanted to marry her. He pre-proposed (if there is ever such a word). But her insecurities ruled the relationship. Finally, he gave up on her. She hated him then and was too proud to admit she was at fault. But they kept in touch and still has a good friendly relationship. My friend had lots of sleepless nights thinking of the what ifs and might have beens during and after their relationship. The negative things weighed heavily on her thoughts. She chose to believe that the relationship was doomed to fail from the start and that was what she allowed to happen. Now, however, when she shares that memory with friends she doesn't hesitate to admit her fault as to why and how the relationship failed. She has forgiven herself and stopped thinking of the what might have beens if only she gave herself a chance then. The guy, by the way, with his kid, has just recently followed his wife to Australia.

2. There was this girl who fell in love with an officemate. Her family belongs to the upper class in their community. The guy's family belongs to the middle class and dons a "happy-go-lucky" lifestyle. He drinks a lot and one of his drinking buddies is his mom. He smokes and sometimes gamble. He was "one of the boys" in the office. He was rumored to even belong to the office boys' "womanizer" group. He wasn't even that good-looking and way beyond being compared to her ex-boyfriend. Yet, she wasn't able to keep herself from falling for him. When the news that he had proposed marriage to her spread out, an ex-girlfriend of the guy came out claiming that she was carrying his child and the one that the guy should marry. This is what kept me and my friend burning the lines for until the wee hours for days. I told her how i see their situation and what i thought about it and what i think i will do if i was in her situation. At present, she is happily married with the guy and the guy proves to be complimenting her achievements and a better person than what she and her friends and family previously assumed him to be.

How can we honestly say that a person is perfect for us or not when we ourselves know for a fact that we have our own imperfections. I believe that relationships last because the persons involved in it proves that what they have cannot be affected by the standards set out by society, that they have built the relationship by themselves and not dictated nor influenced by others, that they had promised themselves to protect the relationship through the deadliest storm, and that respect and trust will shield it all throughout.

I don't have any proof that what i say is true but this is what i believe in and this is how i would want it to be. I am not trying to find a perfect person. i can only say that i have experienced love and knew that who I loved was not a perfect person but someone who gave me "that" feeling. No words can describe it. But questions would - somehow. Why do I keep looking forward to seeing, hearing this person? Why do thoughts of him keep coming to my mind? Why am I smiling at the thought of him? Why do I keep ignoring the fact that he's beeing booed by my friends? Why do I give my parents/friends white lies about him? Why am i so moody when doesn't give me a call? Why do I find his company so much fun?

If you fall in love, you will know what i mean. And please, stay out of the word "stupid". It doesn't belong to love. It belongs only to the "worldly" things. Unless, you take love for another word...

The thing is, no matter who the person is, in love, ideals will never really matter, what will matter is how "high" you can be if you just let go...

"Unhappiness is inspiration waiting to come to life. If you are unhappy, discover the inspiration within it. Ask yourself: "Where do you go from here?"

"what you do in life echoes in eternity"